I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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