I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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