I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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