how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
