is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
