is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
