suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
