I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
