You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
