i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
