Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
