I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
