spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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