Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
