I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
do herpes really smell.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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