its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
