The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
