At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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