Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
