how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
