How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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