she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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