O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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