Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
