Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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