Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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