I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
