There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
