Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
