Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
