Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I can't put those talents on a resume
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
