i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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