Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
