I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
PANTIES FOUND
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