Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
