Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
