did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
