She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
