Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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