awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
