how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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