god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
