I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
