im drinking this country out of the recession.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
