bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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