We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
