I feel like abortions should bother me more
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
