How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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