we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
