Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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