Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
